Music & Lyrics

Whenever I am confused, lonely, undecided and lost, I listen to this song (courtesy: Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant starrer Music & Lyrics). My current state of mind, hums this song each day as I go on mechanically with my daily chores and hectic work schedule. Although I steal a few moments of happiness and rest through mini holidays, songs like this are food for my soul. This song weaves in hopes, fears, love, lonliness and togetherness so beautifully and simply, that I cannot help but sink into these music & lyrics every now & then. Just thought of penning it here, to make it a forever portion of my writing world.

I've been living with a shadow overhead,

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,

I've been lonely for so long,

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on!

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,

Just in case I ever need them again someday,

I've been setting aside time,

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

All I wanna do is find a way back into love.

I can't make it through without a way back into love.

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs,

I know that it's out there,

There's got to be something from my soul somewhere!

I've been looking for someone to she'd some light,

Not somebody just to get me through the night,

I could use some direction,

And I'm open to your suggestions.

All I wanna do is find a way back into love.

I can't make it through without a way back into love.

And if I open my heart again,

I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love,

I can't make it through without a way back into love,

And if I open my heart to you,

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,

And if you help me to start again,

You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

Searching for Happiness...

Often life oscillates between what could have been and what will be…in the midst of which I forget what is! I think that happens to most of us – always ruefully or fondly remembering the past and weaving nascent dreams for future! What easily goes for a toss then is the PRESENT – the time that is…the time we are living in…NOW!

And funnily, every time we read it, or hear someone saying it or even think of it ourselves, it makes perfect sense that we should get back to making the most of what we have now, rather than cribbing about any other phase of life. But it rarely ever happens. Even if it does happen, it is just momentary.

Over time, through fleeting incidents that life offers and chance meeting with interesting people, I have grown to realize that unlike what I thought earlier – happiness and sadness are nothing but a state of mind over which we have full control and command. It is how we choose, and how we live, that determines our reactions to different situations in our life and the decisions that we make and/or are forced to make!

When I open up my mind and heart there is so much more clarity in what I observe in the world outside. There is a 65 year old widow sitting in the confines of her tiny little house in a small town in Gujarat living amidst ill-health, leaky roofs in monsoons, limited expenses and without partner - none of which act as deterrents and her faith in Almighty makes her believe that she is the ‘happiest’ a person can be with no hardships at all. And there is a 100 year old man who cannot move around on his own but still holds the spirit which can put youngsters to shame and has interesting anecdotes to share about his doting family and simple life!

These were just few very personal insights. But there are many more, which each of us encounter in our day to day life but conveniently ignore. There I was nursing a hurt and feeling as if a part of me went missing. And then one day I decided to wake up from my selfish slumber and open my eyes to view people around. There were so many things that I just took for granted which were mere starry eyed luxuries in other people’s lives. It reminds me of how Will Smith's character went through the painful struggle against poverty and ill-luck to finally make it to the top and experience the sweet taste of success in the movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. There are so many people like him who right from birth belong to noone and carve their own way as they grow up and embrace this struggle. They have never seen the faces of parents or loved ones who guide them and inspire them to reach new heights and live a meaningful life. Either they just figure it all out or they get lost in the ambiguity of the world that braces million others.

And then there are people who are not blessed with an active mind but they want to live a ‘normal life’. We come across people with unusual talents but being zeroed to ordinary just because they have an essential part of their physical bodies missing. Imagine waking up one morning and not being able to see the sunrise. Imagine not being able to hear the symphonies of music. Imagine not being able to touch or feel or get pleasure from the little things in life. Hard to imagine? Most definitely. Taken for granted? Maybe! Imagine being the single bread earner and working to your fullest capacity to fulfill your dream of a home, secure future for your family and a comfortable lifestyle and waking up crippled one morning. Scary to imagine? Hell yeah…!

I reflect back and evaluate – I have a wonderfully supportive family who has stuck by me through thick and thin, a well paying job, a good career path, am blessed with few great friends, perfect senses and healthy body, comfortable lifestyle and an active mind that dreams colorfully. And here I am losing myself over a few things that did not culminate pleasantly. When did they occupy so much importance in my life that I forgot to count my blessings? Why did I begin imagining an incomplete existence without those few things which had still not taken any shape and form? Did I not just define my happiness around some unpleasant and unsure factors? I guess I did… and that’s where I need to step in for damage control.

They say ‘Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.’ I am not saying it is easy to forget and move on. But atleast I have to make an effort of being thankful for so many things that God has given me – some even without asking, rather than blaming him for what he did not give me. Yes I need to change and understand God’s connotation behind this message. A journey has to begin – a journey of soul searching and finding eternal happiness. A journey of not only working hard towards a goal, but also enjoying the struggle to achieve it. A journey of interacting with people and being sensitive towards them but not losing myself in the bargain. Never again. This is a challenging journey but it should not be too hard. The least I can begin with is appreciating the miracle called life and the gift called nature. It is never too late. I remember a striking line from a poem, Leisure that we had when in school –

‘What is this life so full of care, we have no time to stand and stare…’

Walking the path...

There is a new path waiting for you to explore
You begin walking with a fresh vigour to endure
There is barely a chance to feel weird and blue
Coz everything around is colorful bright and new

There is spring in the step and zeal in the walk
There is hope in the head and courage in the talk!
You have it in you to give what it takes
You can go all the way to win all the stakes!!!

Then bam go the good times and you reach a dead-end
You wonder WHY God on this avenue had you send?
You look around for clues, options and bail outs
You find none of this coz all around is blackouts!!

Swoosh go the trees and swish go the unknown waters
You know not how to swim; the thought gives you jitters..!
In this eerie deadly silence, for rescue your ears are pinned…
Your existence is exposed like a mere candle in the wind!

Then out come your anger and the agony of the pain
You wonder upon wonder how from suffering you would refrain.
The questions come to the fore as you imagine God’s errand
If HE knew there is no answer why HE would send you on a dead-end?

Then unknowingly He tiptoes into your world and says
‘My dear child, there is a reason for life’s uncertain ways
I want you to earn and learn from every new experience
In life at different stages I throw you these challenges for reasons…

Fret not coz you did not get what you desired the easy way
In life change is the only constant factor I always say
Do not lose courage and fight the situation with power
With every punch and pounce I promise you will go higher!’

You fight back your tears and picture is crystal clear now
You know now that there is something else destined for you somehow
Dead end is not like quick sand and you can find a way out
Just remember the REVERSE gear that life offers when in doubt!

There is a new path waiting for you to explore
You begin walking with a fresh vigour to endure
There is barely a chance to feel weird and blue
Coz everything around is colorful bright and new

There is spring in the step and zeal in the walk
There is hope in the head and courage in the talk!
You have it in you to give what it takes
You can go all the way to win all the stakes!!!

Summin up 2008...

Its a cosy Sunday morning (ermm afternoon) and I am sitting with my fresh fruit juice and madly typing away on my laptop.What is different about today? Not much except that its 4 days for the New Year..2009! Ah alright...so it is saying goodbye to one year and welcoming the other...whats so big in that...have been doing it since almost quarter of a century!Maybe thats what is different...the realisation that quarter of your life is almost done and as any young dynamic 25 year old Im trying to access if the year gone by has added feathers to my cap or taken a few away from it. As I look back...I have mixed feelings as to how 2008 turned out to be - for me as well as the world.

In absolutely no chronological order there are happy times and not so happy times that I recollect.For one a very BIG change was the job jump this year into a cooler and smarter profile which has added much value to my work, perspectives and personality as the future analyst and one of the many faces of the international technology company in the eyes of the world and media. The learning curve has by no means been easy, the path has been rocky and hurdles have been many. But as I have heard somewhere ' Its only the struggles that make you sharper and more acceptable of the good times ahead. Nothing comes easy in life and thats really the essence of it. If someone were to sit and read a book on your life he would want to know what made you a successful person and what hardships you endured to reach a smooth and happy point in your life.Its the crests and troughs...the uphills and downhills and not a smooth express highway that make an exciting rollercoaster ride called LIFE.'
As much as I would like to not believe it...I am afraid its so true!

It is the year where I could sponsor my holiday abroad with a friend, do a fresh set of adventure sports, go on my first business conference trip and attend a fancy analyst briefing in Singapore and what not.

2008 also happened to be a year of disappointments - one major mind boggling creation being RECESSION. Recession hit the world and so badly. For a layman like me it meant job cuts and hiring freezes everywhere. It is definitely a time of showing immense patience and having been involved in the job hunt for 2 close friends I can vouch for the fact that this exercise can be futile at times and leave you at wit's end.

To add to the gloom, 26/11 happened to Mumbai. It should never have happened. It shook the very existence of its citizens and raised questions on the safety and security standards of the commercial capital and highest tax payer of the nation.It woke the people up from their slumber and unearthed the weak political system responsible for a gargantuan loss. It was a grey November as India weeped with Mumbai as innocent sacrifices were made in the midst of a larger poltical war. The towers that stood the test of time were The Taj, The Oberoi, Nariman House and CST Station.By the end of the brave operation by our commendable officers, a huge carcass was found - that of the SPIRIT OF MUMBAI. It was wounded beyond recognition and would need more than just candle protests and morchas to heal. It led us to question our voting processes and somehow began the journey of awakening the mobilized youth to understand the power of our democracy and be the change. The scar was non-removable and the heat was molten!

On a personal front 2008 has had many misses and a few hits.For one, this whole process of growing up has been irritatingly amusing. It is what most people my age would call the formidable QUARTER LIFE CRISIS. It has been a year of figuring out how I fit in the larger picture of things, how things work in the nasty corporate world, how to please your boss, how to retain your job, how to marry work and divorce relaxation to be the best and how to shape up your career by experimenting and reinventing oneself. Where do you fit in the other things that make up your personality or add a little bit spice to your life. Seeing friends go different ways - geographically and emotionally. Changing definitions of 'hanging out with a group of friends' who now become a 'phone call away' or in the modern Gtalk lingo ' a ping away'. Finding a few bright moments in the virtual world by keeping in touch with friends made through academic life and realising how impossible it is to meet the same set of friends living in the same city but caught up in different things for months together. These were the very same people whom you used to meet everyday in college not so long ago to wild away the time in stupid projects, crazy festivals,canteen chats and lazy lectures! You realise how life changes around you, how you evolve and grow but still get nostalgic and feel like humming those Bryan Adams lyrics - Those were the best days of my life! Yes thats how it is to reminicise about the childhood and teenage years when attending a 7am lecture used to be a 'STRUGGLE'. Yeah this was the year of identifying how the words remain same and definitions change...sitations change...people change!!!

This has also been a phase of realisation about how age bears responsibility and face the many issues that we as children wondered what the 'ADULTS' were facing. Yes it has been a time when I have suddenly grown up to the issues surrounding home and family and realised how hazy things are around me, how close people are looking for support and solutions to handle family issues and how I am trying hard to fulfil my role of being a support system to my folks. This task has not been easy and have often broken down, only re-emerge as a stronger person and understand the 'real world', the selfishness and the diplomacy that tries to win over simplicity and goodness. It has been my very own experience in dealing with the vamp like situations of daily soaps and although there is no dramatic ending, there has been an effort to look beyond the muck for the young lotus called life! That is LIFE! :)

Anyways, I would really have to agree with a journalist who said that 2008 can be dubbed as the MOST FORGETTABLE YEAR. There are hopes of a turnaround of the GREAT DEPRESSION that the world currently faces, with the newly elected American President Obama. There will be jobs again (I really hope so, for 2 hardworking, sincere and promising friends who deserve to be some place nice) and obviously for the world at large (including me)!2009 is also the year of the National Elections and through campaigns such as jaagore, there are hopes to invoke our youth with a sense of responsibity in selecting the right leaders and BEING THE CHANGE. I have often been asked by friends why I look forward so much to 2009 and how would it be different from the two busted years of 2007 and 2008. Well I just look forward to the new year with a new vitalised energy, new optimism and a bright hope of more clarity on a personal front. I wish it to be a year when my future would be more visible on all fronts and I will have figured out what I really want and what I inspire to be. It is the year when I finish a silver jubilee and make a promise to myself to become a DRIVER of things and someday reach a pinnacle so as to die a happy woman. Assuming I live till I am 75, I have 2/3 of my life to make this difference and become a GOOD PERSON. 2009, maybe is the the year all this begins!
There is a lil fledging sitting on the threshold of our door called 2009, waiting to open its eyes and flap its wings and fly into our world. It is time to bid GOODBYE to 2008...and welcome 2009 with ARMS WIDE OPEN...!

Ek Vivah Aisa Bhi...

Some couplets that come to mind about Marriage as mentioned by Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet --

'You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.
You shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
...And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shore of your souls.
...Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
...And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and cypress grow not in each other's shadow.'

Well thats what is a wedding after all - a marriage!

Come November and December, India becomes the wedding hub of the world. Winter weddings are very much in vogue and the wedding season has pretty much begun here this year.Wedding industry is soon becoming very big and commercialised and no amount of credit crunch really seems to be affecting its magnitude or intensity this year.

Weddings in India are a lot of fun...well for almost all except for the main people involved!Its full of relatives and friends, a get-together of sorts, dancing, laughter and great FOOD.Its upto the bride and groom whether they really can enjoy all these festivities. Normally I have seen tensed grooms and flustered made up brides go through tonnes of rituals, fasts, pujas, anxious moments, camera lights and endless activities. They look so drained by the end of the day that all they want to really do is sleep...not even eat but then comes the whole round of bidaai and griha pravesh ceremonies and hundreds of 'PAAI LAAGU's' along with smiling for innumerable photographs till the facial muscles ache. Most times you are smiling and meeting people probably for the first and last time in the life...but then you are hosting the wedding - look presentable or die!

Aah well...thats maybe a very warped way of looking at weddings - im sure they are fun and maybe I will cross the bridge when I come to it. After all it is coming together of 2 individuals and getting each other introduced to the families while shedding inhibitions and celebrating precious moments. It is definitely the most special day of these 2 people's lives as they embark upon a journey together with so many happy times and blessings for their togetherness. Infact the idea of ritualistic Indian weddings in very appealing and a beautiful concept coz you are the centre of attention and everything is done by loved ones to make it your most memorable day!

Its even better when you are on the other side - i.e. the guest attending the wedding. Last weekend a Cardiff friend, Parag got married with much pomp and show in a little town of Ahmednagar - a couple of hours away from Pune.The best part of attending this wedding was a reunion with several mates from the B-School I passed out from more than 2 years ago.

It was awesome how I was meeting people after such a huge lull but still reconnecting with them as if I always was around them. I guess technology had a big role to play coz even though the physical distances separated good pals living in different corners of India, we were very much in sync and networked through the virtual world.So this was not the day when Chennai, Jaipur, Delhi, Mumbai, Pune & Bangalore came together. IT WAS THE DAY WHEN CARDIFF CAME DOWN TO AHMEDNAGAR. The same spirit, the same jokes, the same people - just a different location. Ofcourse it was heartening to know how so many of us were married or committed, how many had been successfully handling 'papa's business', some still studying further and a few like me were married to their work! :) We all had grown obviously in terms of maturity and seriousness about what life would have in store but that did not disuadde us from discussing the funny professors and courses we had back then, the crazy winters of Cardiff and general gossip about buddies or batchmates who could not make it for the wedding. While I was still digesting the idea of many of us married (girls and boys alike) - some as old as me or even younger, I was quite shocked to know how a couple of them were about to become daddies. No offence to anyone concerned but I had worked with these so-called uncles on projects and they definitely were like kids themselves then.So 2 years must have affected some massive transformation for them to move on to newer roles in life!Commendable & Brave(really no sarcasm indicated)!!

Apart from the numerous functions, umpteen number of outfit changes (like Bollywood actors) and running about to reach the venue - a part which took up most of our time was the MEALS. Ever been to a Marvari wedding? If not, then you should go once to experience atleast once what I am about to narrate. Imagine having 5-6 meals in a day with atleast 15-20 types of sweets in every meal, shoved down your mouth by relatives of the bride and groom alike as a way of expressing their gratitude for us being able to grace the occassion. Imagine all these mithais dripping in ghee, with tonnes of dryfruits and unimaginable amount of sugar!!!Thats like eating a year full of calories in a single day. To add to it, there was a special meal arranged in the afternoon by the bride's side called 'Svajan Kot' where the groom and his friends (us) sat across a table and were served (forced) mithais down our throats and no amount of pitiable faces, groans, anger or denial really was visible to any of them. For them the motto was 'Feed them.' Well anyways, each wedding and each custom has its special aspects and maybe it was an important aspect for them, so all respect to that!

However what was really endearing was how the groom's father looked after us as if we were his own kids. It was awesome how our stay was so well planned and coordinated, how transport was so well arranged, how all our needs and requirements were taken care of so smoothly and how the groom and his family made every effort to ensure we have a luxurious and memorable wedding. It was really a very touching gesture and something we all learnt from coz its easy to invite guests but its equally difficult to make them feel at home. And thats how we felt at Parag's wedding - at home. For a person who is getting married or his immediate family, when really there are several other aspects that need to be taken care of on their family front - to show this amount of dedication and importance to just a bunch of friends was really very commendable!

The chilly November night, the beautiful lawns, the spectacular fireworks and decor, the magnificient lights and flowers, the sparkling diamonds, the flashy outfits, the melodious music, celebrations & joy, gossipping with old friends, laughing over stupid matters,posing for innumerable photos, eating thousands of meals, a happy bride and groom - are all the memories that I took back from me last Sunday afternoon when I left Ahmednagar. Will I like to attend such a wedding again? Sure thing! I am game for it, ofcourse with a pinch of Pudin Hara!!! ;) :)

In conversation with the Almighty...!

So many times in life before, I tried and tried to do things my way (hey, hey, hey)...I thought that I was smart enough...I thought I knew enough...I didn't realize the problem was, the struggle was between my will and Yours...So I'm giving up my will for Yours, I'm totally depending on You (please come through).... - Tye, Tribbet & G.A.

These are some random lines I came across recently, while casually browsing the net. And these lines, strangely dominate my current thought process – profoundly crazy at times and eerily intimidating otherwise!

For someone from my generation – I have my independent set of do’s and don’ts which may or may not agree with the mould called SOCIETY always! There are many ambitious dreams I harbor and many beautiful (materialistic and otherwise) things I desire. But it is not always that I obtain all of them. Some of the wishes are difficult, some impossible and some outrageously weird! God rations his ‘tathastu’ when I put my wishes in front of him and pretty much controls my sail of life with HIS Will, which is sometimes in agreement and sometimes against MINE. And I keep having my fights with Him, I feel I am smarter, cooler and brighter to make these decisions and whoosh go the pack of cards that I dreamt for myself.

I am quite sure that each of us, at some juncture in this topsy turvy journey of life comes across a situation where we ask a series of random daunting questions – Why me God? What is in this for me? Why did you let it happen to me? Did I not believe in your enough? Do you not want me to be happy? Why can I not get what I really want? Why do you not LISTEN to me? More often then not, these questions are met with an unsettling silence.

When in such a situation, often people around us try to console by saying things like ‘You do not know the plight of the world and there are people who are suffering much more than you. You should be happy with what you have. There must be some good in you not getting what you really wanted….’ It can go on and on. But somehow, try as I may, I cannot get myself to think about the less privileged when faced with this situation. I mean due to respect to a lot of people in the world, who are suffering a lot, it is very natural for me to feel that my pain is unique and unparalleled with the rest and hence should not be compared! It is very difficult to compare my needs and wants with that of a street rag picker for the simple reason that we belong to different stages of hierarchy in Maslow’s Needs Pyramid – her concern is shelter, security and food, whereas mine is social acceptance, status and love. I am quite sure, that when her physiological and security needs are fulfilled, she would also move on to wanting love and esteem. It is true that when you always end up wanting something more or something better, when you get what you first wanted; until you feel self actualized and then you want nothing at all.

I have, in this life, only met one such person – a person very close to my heart and a person whom I am privileged to call my Nanaji (maternal grandfather). He was a man with a league of his own, with an eye for perfection and a heart of gold. It was from him, that I imbibed unflinching strength and courage to brace the villains that life threw at me at various stages– academics, friendships, relationships, health and the corporate world. For a man, who was terminally ill and could see his fast approaching death, he had an unfailing spirit and an amazing faith in God. He had dedicated all his remaining moments to bhakti and he did it with such charm and grace! He always welcomed every moment with a smile on his face saying it’s a gift from God. Whenever I went to him with a morose face and lost hope he recharged me with positive energy saying 'God has something GREAT in store for you and hence he did not give you the GOOD. Just keep praying and thanking Him for what he has given you.' I never used to understand that, but still followed his faith, believed in his belief and almost always something GREAT ended up coming to me and a lost opportunity came back with much more vigour and with much more to offer! Death is a dreadful thing, and especially when you know its on the threshold, welcoming it with open arms and not making any qualms about it is a trait which Nanaji exhibited and left us speechless. It was almost like a halo around his serene soul that I saw, when I met him last.

You left me too early Nanaji. There was so much more that I had to learn from you…

As almost every young person of my age undergoing the so called Quarter Life Crisis – I have had my share of crests and troughs and the journey has by no means been smooth. And like my elders would say – I am yet to embrace the real struggle called LIFE. But I would say that life after this is pretty much based on the choices you make NOW. Hence the NOW decides the THEN. So many questions zoom past in the head that collecting and collating them would take another era for sure. Is this the best career for me? Will I be able to support the rest of my life, based on this? What is it that I really want to do? Am I caught in the wrong job? Is the job taking a lot out of me? Is the struggle needed? Do I feel empty inside? Why can I not be with the person I love? Am I with the right partner? How do I find the best partner, who is compatible with my lifestyle, my dreams and my very existence? How on earth would I do that in a matter of days? Mind or Heart? Where do I see myself 20 years from now? 5 years from now? A few months from now?

These are just few of the questions that can really bum a person out. I would say that the need of the hour is CLARITY but all that we think ultimately amounts to AMBIGUITY. No amount of pondering can help, if nothing, it can screw things up even more. The only thing that really gets me peace of mind is not a parent or friend but not surprisingly it is GOD. And that is what I have been doing a lot lately – praying! I do not know whether it will yield me my answers – but it definitely silences the tornado inside me.

Does God listen, you say? Well, I would like to put it this way. God DOES listen but he does selective listening. A proof? Well last week, I was really pressed with deadlines at work and the mad boss and the usual mess. To exit the gas chamber, the only way out was a sick leave and I prayed earnestly to God that I fall sick to escape. Turns out that He did listen. Exactly 1 week later, I fell sick – very sick – viral, cold, fever and infection. So while the world outside was enjoying the fireworks and mithai of Diwali, I was coughing away to glory. I got my break from work during the office Diwali Holidays and instead of enjoying the festive season, I spent a greater part of 2 days in bed! Oh man…He does listen. It is just a test of how smart you are, since you do not know WHEN He listens! So my belief is, always ask for the right things – and He will listen :) Like a certain advertisement endorses - Try Karke Dekho! ;)

A Era that ended...

As I sit today on a calm Thursday morning, sipping my coffee and reading newspaper and lazing around...I like the happy feeling that is surging through me...yes its Thursday and I am chilling coz its a mid week holiday...thank you Gandhiji for being born on October 2!

I ponder over the last 4 months and the tough times that have molded me, taught me, troubled me and changed me as an individual. I am definitely working in a fantastic profile...like a dream come true...but a lil part of me feels like missing the time that WAS. Moving on was a well thought out decision, but Nostalgia has been an old friend of mine...

I remembered about my time before I made a job switch almost 5 months ago.... and what I most remembered was my journey to and fro which made up a very memorable travel experience...

A typical day started with catching the 8:07 local train or even 8:14 (on lazy mornings). The train timings are typical to Mumbai and never rounded off to the nearer 5 or 10...I wonder why! Anyways, travelling by ladies first class to Churchgate was a comfort. A male friend had once remarked that the ladies first class compartment of a Churchgate bound local usually had the best looking women, elegantly dressed and expressing style, status and confidence. He is quite correct!

I can almost feel the corporate blood throbbing through my veins as I get off each day at 9am at Churchgate station among a pool of thousands trotting away to mint money!!!

Queuing up outside the station at a special share-a-cab booth meant exclusively for lady passengers traveling to Nariman Point ( Asia’s largest business district) was remarkable. I'd observe women indulge into catfights for the coveted front seat for cab ride or scuttle around to run into cabs during heavy rains...! And then out comes Rs.6. 50, the modest cab fare and probably just a sole dialogue addressing the wild cabbie 'Bhaiya, Nariman Bhavan jana hai.' Sit back, relax and enjoy the 5 minute cab ride along Marine Drive, with lemony tar breeze blowing from the vast expanse of the ocean on the right hand side and a series of hotels, restaurants and eateries on the left hand side. One such nice cozy place, Pizzeria, with sea facing tables, glass windows and vintage furniture is my personal favorite. It also has unique slogans written on the banner above it, which change every week and are visible to any passing car. A couple of interesting and situational slogans that pop up in my mind are - ' Too much of anything harms. Including Cricket.' during the T20 fever and then there was another one around the same time - ' Recommended: Cheerleaders at the Parliament to improve attendance!' Witty, sassy and sarcastic - these would almost always make me chuckle as I deciphered the wise messages they sought to convey.

Reaching the office building was not the end of the battle. One more queue for the office elevator, a necessity given that most buildings were 20-30 storeyed and my office was on the 14th! This is an aspect very distinct to Mumbai - QUEUES for almost anything & everything - a queue-o-mania of sorts!

Heading back home was also an event in itself. I had to travel back again in the peak hours i.e. post 6 pm. I usually picked up a Jumbo vada-pav, sukha bhel, samosa or a lil brown packet of popcorn (without minding the hygiene) as my food partner for the long journey. It was fascinating to see people clamor and pile like ants into trains that approached the various platforms of Churchgate, even before they reached a complete halt! Most of these trains were bound for Borivali and Virar so all the long distance travelers almost had an hour or even a couple of hours to spend in the train and hence catching seats like in school buses and managing a 4th seat was hugely like a well accomplished task!

Its strange how hundreds of men stuffed within a single General compartment almost about to fall off, with barely any space to breathe or even move one hand silently endure the pain and massage! And the ladies 2nd Class compartment is a complete riot in comparision. It is by far the noisiest, bickering and most colorful and eventful compartment of the entire train. A huge lot of people traveling by this one will be married women who are tired after a hard day at work and have thoughts of children’s homework, irritating in-laws, cooking, home issues, etc. on the top of their minds. So naturally the patience levels are low and decibel levels high! ‘ Tumne Dhakka Kyun Maara’….’Tune mera haath kyun kheecha’…..’Chup ho ja…thappad maroongi’ is very natural and usual exchange of words. If you get (un)lucky, you may witness 2 perfectly grown mature ladies ready to pull each other’s hair out and screeching on the top of their voices in order to travel comfortably. You might even spot someone knitting a sweater, another chopping vegetable for the evening, few of them catching on some winks of sleep, some friends bitching about their mother-in-laws and yet another section which religiously chants bhajans as the train zooms by. It is not a surprise then for Mumbai-ites to have their special ‘train’ friends! And if all this is not enough, you can also find, much to your delight, vendors floating past the already difficult to navigate compartment selling their wares ranging from fruits to earrings!

The first class ladies’ compartment on the other hand is much calmer, nicer and tolerable even during such mad rush hours. Here you will find women silently muttering into their cell phones, reading some fancy book, newspaper or fashion magazine, working on laptops and only fighting for fourth seats through tiny exchange of silent irritable expressions of discomfort.

That’s Mumbai train for you – running right through the centre of the city like a lifeline and forming the biggest commuting solution for its residents. No wonder when people move away from Mumbai they miss its transport – coz inspite of the dirt, dinginess, unplanned infrastructure, pollution & ruckus there is hardly any city which comes close to Mumbai in terms of its convenience of interlinked conveyance and easily accessible routes through interwoven modes of transport!

My favourite things...

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things...

When this song was first introduced by Mary Martin and sung by Julie Andrews in the 1960's as the soundtrack of the classic movie - Sound Of Music, little did they know that it would become such a famous holiday melody!

It makes me ponder in amusement, about MY FAVOURITE THINGS. I know it will make a hideously non-rhythmic and erratically weird song, so I would not want to replicate the poetic style of this eternal song...for the sole fear of ruining it! But it surely makes me recall a lot of such things which bring a smile to my face and fetch moments of happiness like colourful bubbles in this otherwise drab, dingy routine life! I do not know if YOU (my reader/s) would identify with any or many of these, especially since a lot of these memories are associated with the city where I reside - Bombay! Aah but never mind...did I not say they were my favourite, anyway?

Its the big things (FRIENDS, FAMILY & LOVED ONES) and little things...its the funny things and weird things...it is an assortment of my favourite things. Eating vada-pav at a local stall with spicy chutney while getting drenched in the rains. Having garam garam bhajia and a huge mug of coffee while it is pouring outside. Curling up on the bean bag or sofa and reading a novel or classic for hours at a stretch. Travelling by the local train while observing catfights, humdrums, mad crowds and crazy spirit of boarding a train already brimming with people like ants attacking a sugar cube. Taking a long brisk walk in the joggers park or some nearby playground. A bike ride without helmet (I know that aint safe but whatever!) on a chilly December night.

Loud blasting music and rapturous squeals on kite flying day on terraces with colours and hues painted all over. Stunning fireworks on Diwali and New Year's Eve at Marine Drive. Splashing sea with maddening waves on a stormy thunderous days. Squealing kids and crazy adults alike dancing in the rain. Watching 3 back to back movies in a single day in a luxurious multiplex. Long drive on a pleasant day to the greenery and mountain side. Dancing with the weirdest of moves on Ganesh visarjan. Eating 4 plates of road-side pani puris one after another. Sketching on the beach, and staring into the endless blue sea as the Sun crystallises in the sky and calls it a day giving way to an orange-pink twilight.

Huge snowflakes blanketting the trees, sidewalk and rooftops and the bright Sun providing a glittery gold effect and making the world resemble a newly adorned newly adorned bride. Frosty nights. Para-sailing on a beautiful exotic island. An expensive haircut, with a new look. A designer dress bought at a huge discount. A bunch of friends playing Monopoly in the death of night and ordering pav-bhaji from the only restaurant open at 3am. River Taff. A silent church with elegant ethnic architecture. Palaces and royal stories of kings and queens. Exploring an unknown city all on my own! Bubble bath, spa & aromatherapy. Pampering and hugs from Mom. A stimulating oil massage, by Mom.

A drive to Lonavla – enveloped in greenery and beautiful streams and waterfalls gushing to embrace you. An infant’s innocent grin. Few crazy hours spent watching animation flicks with kids. Rasgulla. Prithvi Café. An enormous icecream sundae devoured with guilt of calories. Breaking rules. Christmas carols, lights and decorations. Scent of water sprinkled on parched land or dry mud. Snoozing all day. Rasgullas. Star gazing in the country side at the millions of planets, stars, solar systems and the full Moon. Kashmir. Watering a garden full of blooming flowers.

In different situations of life, these different set of things cheer me up. They are the things I resort to - when I am blue. Life is not easy. There are tonnes of regrets which can be very depressing. The truth is - Life is all that and more. It is upto us to steal the moments that fetch us happiness and peace, from the same glum and unhappy set of events. We owe it to ourselves. If we wouldnt be selfish and do it for ourselves - noone else will do it for us!!! We all should have some favourite things...some favourite times...that could help make this journey called LIFE easier and more fun! Here's to CELEBRATING LIFE!!! CHEERS!

Nothing Lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off avoid the bullshit, take chances, & never have regrets because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted!!

Hence ends the post...and so do the lyrics...

...When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad!

Choices?!

‘Given a choice, I would/would not do this.’ How many times have we uttered this sentence aloud or in our mind? Have we ever thought about the consequences this statement would fetch, if God happens to listen to us?

Imagine an ideal (?) life where we would be granted choices in any stage, in every situation and at every instance. Aaah…that would be good…isn't it? Choose to wake up late and bunk office or college. Choose orange juice over a glass of milk for breakfast. Choose to relax and read all day by lying curled up in a sofa and reading a book sipping a cup of hot chocolate or cappuccino and laze around under the pretext of catching up on much needed sleep. Or even choose to shop all day and blow up a massive amount on some useless shopping!

There are larger aspects to having choices which paint a very rosy picture. I would choose to have an exotic holiday abroad or pamper myself to a spa treatment instead of slogging it out over a never ending project. I would also choose to make my life my own way, carve out every move. And so could YOU. YOU as in my reader/s. You might be thinking that I have written about all my choices to do with entertainment and relaxation, but let me tell you, it is only just a quotable instance. There are choices in almost any and every walk of life and a part of each decision that one makes. So choices are good, right? WRONG.

Well again, this is my perspective. Over the years I have come to see that in a given situation, once the host of choices is infused, it always works opposite to its purpose. Infact, even before we are old enough to understand their significance, we get surrounded by choices. Only difference is that as a child normally someone else chooses for you and as you grow up, you are supposed to make your own mature choices. Let us take an example of little kids in primary school whose parents want them to excel at studies and also be all-rounders. So, there comes up a host of choices – sports, IQ classes, music, dance, elocution, painting, etc. The innocent impressionable mind is subject to a lot of things that his/her parents bring forth as choices. It is good to have A hobby, whereas it is not a great idea to be Jack Of All, Master Of None and compromise on academics and get so exhausted by the end of the day, that the so called Play Time becomes non-existent. Then at various stages of life, options keep hovering around them in the form of school, extra-curricular activities, toys, clothes, friends, food, etc. So from a very early age, the mind is attuned to choose among alternatives and always look for different options.

Imagine a boy, fresh out of school with an extraordinary academic record of more than 90% (worthy enough of praise). He is very keen to pursue his talent and his hobby of writing and thinks he would really excel at it. And whoosh sweep in the preferences, notions and nuances of the intelligent experienced minds (or so we think). Suddenly everyone who is even remotely linked to the boy’s family will call, give their gyaan, whether seeked or not and lo! The confusion has just managed to increase.

It just goes on and on. Whether it is in picking an optimum career, or its zeroing on the job and the company of your choice. And then comes the huge topic of marriage. And when I say, marriage, I mean the concept of arranged marriage which is largely existent in India. Umm...Don’t even get me started on that one!

My take? Choices just complicate things. So it is definitely not ‘the more the merrier’. Indecisiveness creeps in and creates mayhem and general disruption in the route called LIFE. But my take is of course, just my take. Life’s take is something else altogether. In life we are always faced with more than one ways of reaching our destination. And strangely a person’s personality, thinking, nature and the very existence is judged based on the choices he makes in life.

How I wish that I would end up with a perfectly ideal blend of all that is good to have, arranged like an assortment of tempting offerings in every step of life! Given a choice, I would like it that way. There I go again, given a choice! Situational irony? I am as clueless as YOU…

The more the choices, the more the confusion,
When all is hunky dory, it adds to the commotion
There are opinions flying around in absolutely no unison
It’s the longest route for finding the best solution
When all you would hope for is just a perfect fusion!!!!

Chaos!

As kids we often got this essay topic in school - 'The Day When EVERYTHING Went Wrong!' When I wrote about getting drenched on the way to school, losing my favourite pencil box and landing up with a bruise while running around as events of my WRONG day, little did I know that as a grown up there is so much more to it that it can drive you crazy. This brings me to describe one such ATYPICAL and downright BIZZARE day!

Imagine...
You wake up one fine morning on a bright sunny day with a feel-good factor about the day ahead and BAM!!!...it all backfires...and how! Wake up late and drowsy, rush to get ready for work and pop go the buttons of your favourite shirt in all the haste! Reaching office late and perplexed and facing an angry manager, a barrage of phone calls, professional tiffs with colleagues and work pressure which resembles a deadly gas chamber. Hoping it will fizz out by the end of working day. But obviously it does not.

You reach home and there is frenzy everywhere. An activity which has fetched thousands of phone calls is driving the inhabitants crazy. The phone keeps ringing like a Government office complaints department and the conversations are like traditional stock market trading Ring. In the midst of all this disarray, you switch on your dear PC (dabba) for some important mails that need to be sent out and it refuses to oblige. The technician makes matters worse by opening up the CPU, spreading all the nuts and bolts, conducting a post-morterm on the poor little thing and BAM!! goes the mother board. And almost immediately our dedicated lanline follows suit.Thats a happy state of events!

Admist flying tempers and wicked conversations, the plumbing system of the house decides to give away, as if it was just waiting for an opportune moment and had suddenly found it! And isnt it the most happiest time then to have guests come over? Sure it is! People who had shown their faces after 365 days for casual socialising.WOW.Such an awesome sense of timing!
A precious newly purchased item had chosen today as its LAST DAY, much to our dismay. What was it boiling into? A LOSS day? I was yet to see...

After a good meal and some light hearted conversation, you decide to call it a day with the hope in mind that all is not lost and tomorrow is a new day. But is it really?

Wake up the next morning (probably 24 hours of the wRonG dAY are not yet over) and get to know disheartening news about your car being stolen. The sense of loss for something your family so dearly owned and used, the memories attached to the tiny vehicle that was a part of all good times of the family of four has suddenly bid a forceful goodbye. It really can scare the daylights out of a person. You wonder if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed twice. Your world is zooming around you, you lose sense to think or work clearly and that one daunting question is blaring in front of you. WHY ME?WHY US? And you get no answer. You can try blaming atleast 10 different people and systems who were directly or indirectly responsible for this or you can attribute it to karma. All said and done, the bottom line still remains - its gone.

A couple of insights that did come out of this day were - it suddenly works as a catalyst for the kids of the house to grow up. It is not a calamity but a chaos, a crisis. And it is important to be clear headed and calm in the midst of it. When the parents get worked up, the children take the baton from them swiftly and smartly and become the pillars of support and inspiration. The situation does not change, its the same crisis but there is a positive reinforcement of hope, courage and ideas that brings comfort. Also it reaffirms the faith in Almighty. It just comes to make us realise that however pompous or egoistic or laid back we may become, HE makes us realise that we are just a speck of dust and ultimately things are under his control. I would like to think of this as HIS way of telling us to never forget him even when all is smooth coz you never know when the ride would get bumpy! A day without faith and prayers is like a clock whose pendulum has gone missing!

After all the hysteria following the incident i PEACEFULLY sat in an auto to go to work -again an hour late - and was praying to God to give me fewer such unusual and wrong days. And the auto music system plays an apt Marathi song - 'Aga pori sambhal dariyala toofan ayela bhari...' (Take care girl, there is a stormy sea ahead...') ~

UK Summed Up... - Part 2

By mid-December we were done with a very important assignment and mid-term exams were a month away. Our exhaustion needed a vent, which came in form of a road trip to the renowned beaches of South Wales. Whether it was Barry Island or Gower or Pebbles Beach or Swansea Waterfront - each coastline had a different story and something unique to offer. Our car full of friends made the most of these two days by posing for craziest of photographs,eating weirdest of foods and making our mark on the beautiful beaches of Wales. The soft lemony tar breeze, the icy cold waters of Atlantic ocean, the nippy weather and crazy friends contributed to an ideal & memorable holiday!

Winter gradually enveloped the capital of Wales with arms wide open. Such were the cold chilly winds accompanied by rains that it became normal to wear layers and layers of clothes and look like footballs walking on the street. To make matters worse - by 4pm it was pitch dark and remained so at least till 7am the next day. The cold, the gloom,the wind and the scary UK winters worked as deterrents for studying with concentration, which was now becoming essential with the approaching exams in the first week of January. Midnight snacks became our source of break and entertainment! On charged up nights we had feasts and on other serious nights we survived on cereals! It was amazing how concepts were understood and discussed with so much vigour and enthusiasm in group study - which until then I never had confidence in. If all this did not keep us awake - one thing surely did. Building 16 and 17 of our Talybont South residences had a notorious reputation of fire alarms in the death of the night. So it was a regular feature to run down floors sleepy eyed and drowsy in weird states of dressing (there was a time when a girl came down wrapped in her blanket alone!) and shiver in the cold outside while the firemen came and fixed the problem (which more often that not was caused due to some moron smoking in the corridor or kitchen) Aarrgghh!

Christmas made the mood festive and cheerful. The celebrations in London & Cardiff were a class apart - brightly lit up Oxford street, City Centre, goodies, gifts, cakes, carols n more! The only thing missing was the snow to make it a WHITE CHRISTMAS. Towards the end of the year came the Boxer's Day. The day when clothes, shoes, perfumes, gadgets, etc. would be available at 50% discount or even more! This was my opportunity to see Britain wake up at 4am, queue outside shops for the mega sale and shop like maniacs once the stores opened at an unearthly hour of 5am. Here I waited for 1 hour on an early frosty morning, with my aunt and as soon as the shutters opened - there was a marathon, grabbing, pulling, pushing and so many things at once, that I was transported back to a Big Bazaar sale back home! And to see the haughty British do the same made me realise with a sense of satisfaction that - DISCOUNTS & SALES have no religion or nationality - shopping makes EVERYONE mad. PERIOD. :)

Shopping for us students, however was more frequent than that. It was a weekly affair. But it was not luxury shopping - it was essential shopping. So TESCO Extra became our favourite hangout/shopping/entertainment/necessity destination. The vastness of its size and the availability of food options enthralled me, as I had never seen supermarkets of colossal sizes before. It was easy for a tiny little me to chug along with a trolley of my own get lost in the alleys offering pastries, breads, cookies, yogurts, ice creams, chocolates, ready-to-eat foods, cans, cereals and whatnot. Running a tight budget helped me cut down on a lot of fatty things, which I would have otherwise bought. But my friends can vouch that there was a huge similarity between me and a balloon by the end of the year. Blame it on the extraordinary fruits and desserts! If I did feel guilty about my size, I would walk it up both ways to City Centre from my hostel (which was quite a considerable distance) for some work or the other, feel proud about saving 2 pounds for the return bus journey, but put back all the calories by spending the saved money on Veggie Delite @ Subway and GUMMY BEARS! :)

On New Year's Eve, we went to the one place that all students in Cardiff would have gone at least once in their lives - CREATIONS - a lounge bar. It was hilarious when we observed the native girls high on alcohol walk around the streets in skimpy outfit & tiny skirts and compared them to our state - covered from head to toe with overcoats, jackets, gloves and hats!

One day, in early January the temperatures dropped to minus 10 degrees Celsius. I was stuck to the heater like a leech and going to college was next to impossible. That very night it SNOWED for the first time that year in Cardiff. Its was so spectacular and white outside...at times huge flakes came down and other times the sun came out to shine upon the world giving a glittery gold effect.The chilly mad wind blew across my face as I peeped out of the window that morning and the world looked like a newly adorned bride - roads, trees, rooftops, cars alike carpeted with tonnes of snow! For a snow lover like me it was PARADISE.

The best thing about Cardiff was that after every tedious studious experience, there came a time of thorough enjoyment and fun. So after our difficult back to back exams it was time for the grand MBA Dinner in the City Hall. This was an occasion to address to the students, the progress of the school, where boring old men came and rambled on till everyone in the audience fell asleep. It was a 5 course meal, with food that looked greatly garnished and royally served but hardly palatable. The interesting part for us was, the dress code of the event - national costumes. On that frigid night, we girls were clad in thin chiffon saris like bevy of glacial Bollywood beauties, and kept smiling through the event, when sitting in an oven looked like a more attractive option. Look pretty or die!

MBA abroad usually gave so much exposure to different cultures, lifestyles and work styles of people round the world. Something which would naturally and obviously occur to me, was not so obvious for all and vice versa. Through a series of presentations and dialogues, in a project called Business Plan, some interesting insights were revealed about setting up any business in UK with the help of imaginary 1 million pounds and planning the entire launch, marketing, finance, human relations and strategy of the business right from conception to profits. It was a unique concept, which weaved in all management subjects studied throughout the year spiced up with practical experiences and ideas emerging from a melting pot of ethnicities .

Spring brought in a riot of colours and the sun decided to leave its confinement and beam upon us. It was that time of the year, when suddenly 12 degrees Celsius became 'HOT' and the lawns outside my residence, Talybont resembled the Bondi Beach of Australia. Almost everyone except the Indians (who still found jackets useful in late April) applied sun-tan lotion, sported shorts, bikinis and sun-glasses and studied outdoors in the sunny weather. It was quite a panoramic sight and suddenly Talybont became a favourite destination for most boys.

Spring also brought in electives and main exams. Many of my friends tell me, that I was busy studying and unaware of so many gossips happening around me, regarding friends. Maybe I was. For the next few months, I gave in my best effort for it to be a fruitful MBA. After 9 back to back core exams, 2 elective exams and hugely long and scary dissertation and a part-time job (which helped me buy my ticket back home on my own :)) I was done with the mammoth course. Visibly fatter, rounder, sleep deprived, exhausted, richer in friends and experience and 5th in a class of 300 odd students from across nations!Quite a fair deal I would say...

I am sure a lot more could be done, many places were left to discover, there were some regrets with respect to the job scene and placements, etc. But I really do not want to paint an unhappy picture here, because what I gained was immense and what I have now is really priceless. I learnt so many things living away from home, which I probably never would have thought of bothering about back home. I realised that a lot depended upon me and what I should do and should not do to maintain a healthy lifestyle. So whether it was doing the laundry, cooking food, keeping house clean, buying groceries, paying bills, handling bank transactions, studying, working and maintaining finances - it all boiled down to an individual and invoked in me, a sense of responsibility that was dormant earlier. I also learnt the importance of people, relations and family in my life. Its natural for us to take so many things for granted when at home, but we learn to appreciate them much more when away.

So, along with imparting critical lessons for life, my year at UK was when I was the happiest of all. It was one of the most fantastic years of my life - full of independence & responsibility, life-long friendships, international bonding, global academics, delightful experiences and memories to last me a lifetime!Cardiff is truly, NOSTALGIA REVISITED. A year for which I would trade almost anything in the world..to get it back! As the Welsh would say it... Hwyl Caerdydd (Goodbye Cardiff)!

UK summed up - Part 1

The idea of going to UK for higher studies, was neither the first one, nor my very own. I was all set to work in a reputed company for a year or two and plan my MBA in India through a series of tedious and tough entrances. But DESTINY had other plans for me. Before I knew it, I had resigned from the same reputable firm and was packed off with bag, baggage and food (which is probably more important than even clothes for some Gujaratis!) to London.
London, the city of the Queen Mother, boasted of ancient architectural delights like palaces, bridges, dungeons, Big Ben, St. Paul's Cathedral, Trafalgur's Square, etc. It also had a modern touch to it, what with shopping paradises like Oxford Street & Harrow, pubs and lounges, food joints serving cuisines from all over and an excellently networked transport system - RAIL in particular! London, however was not my destination and I was just to stay there for a week, at my aunt's before heading to the place which was to be my home for the next one year - CARDIFF!
If London was Mumbai, Cardiff was Lonavla.As I passed through the quaint little university city, I was amazed to see the symmetry of its structure and the tininess of its size. Little red brick houses, no more than a couple of floors taller bordered two ends of the sidewalk, with little green trees, well trimmed bushes. So serene, so quiet and so empty! For a person like me, who has right since birth lived in a city that is surrounded with hustle, bustle, activity, people zooming by, rush and madness - this was a stark contrast and a shock! I missed Mumbai for all those things, which I had once found unsettling. Two-third's of the city population was university population and hence there were mainly young faces to be seen everywhere. It was equally interesting to find out that a huge percentage of these unknown faces belonged to Asians - Chinese & Indian alike.
I was put up at Talybont South residence - House 17, Room 3-1-6. The strange apartment consisted of 8 such rooms and one huge kitchen. It was occupied by 8 unknown girls from different parts of the world. This thought gave me a chill while I carefully unpacked all the goodies got from home. The room was another SHOCK. When I first saw it, I wondered if it could be called a room?One bed occupied almost 3 quarters of the room, on the other end a neatly furnished study table and cupboard and at one tiny end, a bathroom. In exactly 5 steps, my room ended, with little place to navigate in between. How I managed to unpack EVERYTHING is a mystery to me too!
Around this time, I got my first so-called CULTURE SHOCK! I gradually got introduced to all my flatmates over the next few days - 4 Chinese 'girls' (I was later to know that one of these girls was actually a mother of a 10 year old whom she had left behind in Shanghai with her husband for a year of MBA), 1 Jamaican (who sorry to say, cooked the most PUNGENT food possible) and 2 other Indian girls (who were later to become my close friends there). My first concern was to secure a spot on the 2 shared refrigerators that was to be shared amongst us. Along with another Indian veggie friend (dear ol' Shuchi), I had a hard time convincing the others that it will not be ok if pork would be kept on my cabbage or that duck eggs would not sit in between my apples! They were shocked to know that I survive only on veggies (poor thing they said) and I did not mind their shock much, coz I had encountered a lot of those questions back home from friends! For a girl, who barely had shared a table with a chicken eater in India, it soon became a regular sight, to see pork or chicken being cooked, kept on the platform, cut, garnished and arranged! It stopped affecting me, for which I was mighty thankful.
Before I knew it, I had started sincerely attending lectures of great, well read professors with tonnes of international experience behind them. Our classroom could seat at a time 300 students. It was amazing to interact with people from different cultures, in our syndicate group studies where we were a part of a mixed cultural group. During the course of this study, I learnt to respect so many religions, cultures and their ethnicities and got over so many prejudices and culture shocks that I am surprised how I had suddenly become so adaptable and flexible. I delightfully learnt how Nigerians respected women, how British were still accustomed to kissing on the cheek for a goodbye, how the Greeks thought that taking showers once a week was a luxury and combing their hair a fortnightly affair, how Chinese were so hardworking, polite and helpful, and how there was hardly any difference in the lifestyles of the so-called rivals - Indians and Pakistanis! So much so that the buildings 16 and 17 of Talybont South, largely inhabitated by these were named Chandini Chowk
Soon life settled in a gradual routine, with assignments, lectures, pre-readings, post-readings and tests like any other hectic MBA life - probably a little more taxing, it being just a year's course. We did have occassional breaks and detours - when we saw the famous places - a beaming Cardiff Bay, Bute Park, City Centre, Church, Castle, Lake and River Taff. River Taff deserves a special mention. It was running exactly by the side of my hostel and on quiet evenings, I liked to go and sit by the river and watch the serene beauty of gushing waters, autumn leaves, ducks floating by, with a mild breeze adding a magical touch to the whole scene. It was one of my favourite places, after the quiet little chapel and I loved going there on my own. A friend of mine, Santosh was quite convinced that I would jump into River Taff one day for some odd reason! Sometimes when I sit back to remember my days there - River Taff flashes back in my mind so stark, and so clear that the urge to return there gets heightened!
Other than studying, wandering and attending lectures - I developed another strange hobby - cooking. First more out of compulsion, but later out of experiment and pure joy! It was equally endearing to see a few of my friends from Southern India - guys - who were such excellent cooks that we girls almost faded in comparision - while eating their spicy sambhar, rasam and delicious recipes! I also realised that Chinese as we had in India was nowhere close to the actual food. Spinach leaves cooked in olive oil with salt, pepper and pork formed most of their meals. Making them eat gulab jamuns, kheer and pav-bhaji was quite an adventure. Although I never got myself to master the art of eating with chopsticks, which I sorely regret...
Before I knew it - autumn had advanced to give way to winter...
Guess I have rambled on quite a lot here...so shall save more for the next post - a lot to recollect, a lot to write and a lot of nostalgia - coming up in PART 2....

A Dreamy Analysis…

When I think of dreams I drift back to the Roald Dahl classic that I read as a child – The BFG – Big Friendly Giant who was a Dream Catcher by profession. He caught dreams that manifested in the Misty Dream Country and blew them through trumpet like pipe into the bedrooms of children, while they were asleep. What a wonderful fantasy – so mystical and yet so innocent.

The BFG also used to make sure that he bottled up the blotchy nightmares in caves far away so they would not affect the little kids. Which makes me wonder, if those bottles start exploding and finding their way out to reach the civilization as we grow older? Or is it just a figment of our imagination?

So what is the power of dreams?

My friends say I see funny dreams – some of them can be written as film and drama stories and sold to directors for moolah. Strangely, I distinctly remember most of my dreams – both good and bad. They are Technicolor, have a lot of action, adventure, special effects, heroism, people, emotions and technology! The range of subjects on which I dream are enormous - wars, celebrations, trains, galaxies, deaths, cliffs, sea, sharks, children, fire, bomb blasts, running, havelis, monsters, deserts, rock concerts, safaris, gardens, rains, skiing and horses! And what not! Sometimes they are futuristic, sometimes awe-inspiring, sometimes heartening and most times amusing and plain funny! There are times when it feels like a Sanjay Leela Bhansali or Suraj Barjatya magnum opus. If I start with giving a sneak peek into the content of these dreams – its sure to fill up volumes…so I shall save you guys the torture :)

But it’s truly fascinating to decipher dreams and analyze the meaning behind them. Then there are disturbing dreams as well – when you wake up from them and wish you had never slept…never dreamt those. But then if life would become sugary sweet seen through rose tinted glasses, we would always miss the spice.

I have often thought whether there is a full-stop to dreams or even a semi colon for that matter. Infact I took this discussion up lately with a couple of friends and they also had interesting insights to share. I always used to feel that we should not limit our imagination or ambition by our dreams. Dreaming big is good – like they say...aim for the stars, so that you reach the treetop. I have seen many dreamy eyed people in this city of Mumbai. There are huge success stories to boast of – about people with no money and magnificent dreams making it big. Dream is the end, the means of which is work – sometimes hard work and sometimes smart work.

So is it right to build castles in air? I think not. There have also been instances of people who harbor dearest of dreams in their heart and when they cannot be fulfilled – they get shattered – their castles in air come tumbling down their ears and are sometimes beyond repair – and then nothing else in the world is as gratifying as that ONE dream, since they are so emotionally attached to it.

Its not a pessimistic view, it’s a realistic scenario. To resurrect and rise from the ashes like a phoenix is another human wonder that happens. But there are extreme cases when it takes ages for that to happen, or at times, to others dismay, never happens. Then What? Is it worthwhile to have lofty dreams in those starry eyes? Maybe yes, if we are 10 year olds. But the fact is, we are not. And the people that we are, the life that we have, its sometimes imperative to dream attainable dreams, rather than chasing mirages that were never yours. Atleast that way, we are closer and more committed to our goals and if it doesn’t happen, we can pick up another dream and move on.

Maybe I am drawing a contradictory analogy to what I said earlier about a dream having no boundary and now I am mentioning about an attainable dream which in itself is an irony. What is the best thing to do? Maybe BFG would have an answer…

Mumbai Monsoons..!

I had written this lil verse 3 years ago on a rainy day...blogging was nascent then so just thought of publishing it now to set the mood right for a beautiful monsoon. The ideas and thoughts were just embryonic then as compared to now...but the SPIRIT remains the same!

The rain comes down in torrential showers,
The steely clouds kiss the mountaintops
A brisk wind blows gustily to freshen up the air,
As I set out for another damp damp day.

Those earthy puddles of dirty water,
Splashing out, then refilling by the rain,
The restless gray sea rushes to meet the land
And splashes saline sprinklers on one and all…

That delightful vada-pav stand at the roadside,
Quickly devoured with cups of hot cuttings,
Another refill, the stomach is yearning,
As the masses wait forever for the slow traffic to budge

A brief respite… and people hurry out,
The trees however spill dollops of water,
They act as the rain gods in absentia…
As I skip through puddles dripping and shivering

The children are so happy, another holiday!
The office-goers lament and trudge on with their day,
The rain gods smile benignly,
As I rue about my makeover from a kid to an adult

Come what may…knee deep waters or wind fallen trees
None can obstruct people’s errands and routine
And so truly the spirit of Mumbai never fails
Life moves on…sandstorms or rains!

Summers - In the summer time, when the weather is fine!

When I was a child, around 15-20 days of my summer holidays used to be spent at my maternal grandparents house at Mahesana - a small town which is couple of hours drive from Gujarat's commercial capital of Ahmedabad. It had become in my definition my native place. This time, when mom mentioned the visit again to meet my nani ' Baa' as I fondly call her - I jumped at the idea!

That is when I began reminiscing about my childhood days....
The days were characterized by melodious kirtans sung by Baa, plucking variety of flowers from our backyard garden(juhi, mogra, champa, chameli,gulaab, gulbaas, etc.), devouring fatty meals and lots of mithai, playing cricket with my cousins ( all 4 boys and me the only neglected girl who used to do fielding in some rare corner or was sent to get the ball from some neighbour's home!), playing hide-n-seek and actually getting lost in the enormous 3 floor pushtaini haveli (that my grandparents later sold off), watering the plants in the garden and using the hose on each other in the evenings, eating raw mango & kalakhatta golaas, lying on mattresses at night in the dhaaba (terrace in Gujarati) and reciting tables from 13-30 in front of nanaji and watching larger than life dreams about the future through glistening eyes by watching the starry sky and arguing about non-existent planets and invisible UFO's until the soft breeze drifts us all to sleep....

What a phase this was! Abundance of innocence, no hassles, hang-ups, money issues, friendships, fights, hardships, deadlines, egos, relationships, falling in love, falling out of love --- nothing~
All that one would do is eat, sleep, play and enjoy life. No wonder childhood always beckons most of us throughout our lives!

Its funny how in this small town half a bucket of water for bath seems perfectly fine and drinking water from the matka or a fan in working condition is a welcome delight even in the scorching heat!

People are so unusually caring that such kind of behaviour can actually stifle a person's privacy if in a metro city. For instance, I went to buy a pesticide for some gardening tasks for our backyard. An eccentric old shop-owner frowned at me when I asked for it and asked suscipiciously - 'What do you want it for?' I was like...'Gardening..(duh)' He goes ' Ok then take it for gardening beta...dont you dare drink it or think of committing suicide or I will follow you home and tell your family!!!' I really did not know whether to feel angry or touched. The homes are small but the hearts are big in these little towns :) Touche!

I believe it set the tone right for me to explore my childhood and connect to my roots so wonderfully and effortlessly!